As best as I can remember it, it went like this:
"So this couple, they're in their 90s. They're in great health, and they decide to take a vacation. They're driving down the highway, and out of nowhere, BAM! Hit by a semi truck. So they get up to St. Peter's gates and Peter says, 'Welcome! Here in Heaven you'll have everything you wanted on Earth, and best of all, it's all free.'
"He shows them their new home. It's beautiful. Comfortable and suited to their every desire. There's swimming pool nestled in a tropical paradise with greenery and birds singing. The old man says, 'I can't believe this. It's unbelievable! What we've always dreamed of. It can't be true.' St. Peter says, 'Oh, but it is! And it's all free!'
"Peter walks them outside and shows them the golf course, a passion of the old man's. Peter says, 'You'll be pleased to know that it changes every day. You'll never get tired of it.'
"Peter takes them inside for supper. A meal fit for a king. Everything is perfectly prepared. Again, Peter reminds them, 'It's all free for you to enjoy here in Heaven.' says Peter.
"The old man looks at his wife. 'I can't believe it,' he says, 'I really can't believe it. This IS Heaven! And to think that I could have been here 30 years sooner if you hadn't fed me those damn bran muffins all these years!'"